I while ago (before getting two assignments) I thought it would be a good idea to sign up for Slice of the Blog Pie's Query Letter Blogfest. Which was yesterday (Aussie time).
Well... yesterday I handed in an assignment, had class till 8.30pm, arrived home at 10pm sat down and proceeded to try and rewrite my query letter. I've made quite a few attempts at this here, and here, and an epiphany here. At around 1.00 in the morning the power cut out. Crap. Had I saved? No I hadn't.
So now, finally, here is my new and hopefully improved (though I don't have high hopes for this one) query letter. And yes, I know it's still ridiculously long. I am not so good at the summarising.
Have at it!
Edit to add: I'll make changes based on people's comments, so if early comments don't make sense this is why.
I am a regular reader of your blog and I believe my 84,000 word YA fantasy, BLOOD LEGACY, would be a good fit for your agency [because of reasons inserted here].
Dani Strider is the only one who knows her mother’s death wasn’t natural. Murdered by a shadow, but nobody would believe that. For seventeen years Dani has dreamed of revenge, but even her strange talents, her wild magic and ability to hear people’s thoughts, aren’t enough to find a creature that shouldn’t exist.
When strangers appear in Dani’s house, claiming to be family from her home world, Dani knows where to find the wraithlike killer. They came from Dereshan, a hidden realm on the brink of war between the rebels and a ruthless tyrant, and they believe Dani can help. But before she can find out how or why, the strangers vanish, the only evidence of their visit a cryptic message: if he comes, you must follow.
After searching for a path into Dereshan without success, Dani unleashes her magic in fury and despair. She wakes in the aftermath, a gray dog at her side, and an expression all too human in his eyes. Dani follows the dog to Dereshan and discovers he has a voice, an attitude, and too many secrets. He’ll help Dani get revenge - for a price. He wants to be healed and what he means by that he won’t say.
Dani must decide if revenge is more important than helping stop a war, but the deeper she gets into Dereshan, the more she realises that both paths are inextricably linked, and she may not be strong enough for either.
I am an Editing and Publishing student at RMIT University in Melbourne, Australia.
Thank you for your time and consideration.