More bombs good

WARNING: This is a writing update. I'm sorry if it's a little 'me-centric', but I'm hoping by blogging about my writing it might keep me more firmly on track when it comes to writing progress. Also, I might blog more consistently! Onward.

I can happily report that today I rewrote an entire scene and it is at least twice as awesome as it was before. That is not to say that it is now AWESOME, just that the previous iteration needed a lot of improvement.

I once wrote a blog post about dropping plot bombs. The basic premise is: if you feel like a scene is going nowhere, or lacking conflict/tension, there's one sure fire way to sort it out - drop in a plot bomb. Ask yourself, what's the worst that could happen right now to these characters? Be sure to throw in an evil cackle for good measure.

So before the scene went something like this: MC finds enemy soldiers (only three), kills two of them (one in cold blood) even though she's never killed anyone before, rescues girl, goes on her merry way (albeit a little depressed over killing two men).

Now: MC finds a group of around 20 soldiers holding a girl captive, she hides out until night and slips into the tent with the girl, kills two men in self defense and gets a stab wound in the side and almost strangled for her efforts, rescues girl and hightails it outta there with 18 pissed off soldiers on her tail. Will she make it?

Favourite bit today:

My eyes widened as the knife sunk into my side. I fisted his shirt and dragged him closer to me, staring into his snarling face. Victory glinted in his eyes. He thought he’d won. Perhaps he had.

Either way, I was taking him with me.


It's exciting being able to see improvements in your story, isn't it? How's everyone else's writing going?

Fantasy Gives me Heroes

I'm a little behind in the A-Z. I've decided not to feel guilty about that considering my last post on Exhaustion, but I am now in catchup mode so I'm going to kill three birds with one stone.

Fantasy Gives me Heroes

I am a big fantasy nut. I grew up with my older brother's cast-offs of Narnia, The Hobbit and The Northern Lights. It's always been one of my staples, what I go back to when I'm feeling the desire to get well and truly lost in a world. I love the made up creatures, worlds and magic. And I love the heroes and heroines that every fantasy story has.

I'm half-way through Green Rider by Kristen Britain at the moment, and I love Karigan; she's what a heroine should be. Strong but willing to ask for help, and not blindly walking into dangerous situations that could have been avoided with a bit more forethought.

Froi, of Froi of the Exiles by Melina Marchetta, will do whatever needs to be done, is fiercely loyal but also fiercely intelligent. Even if he doesn't think so himself. His life didn't have heroic beginnings but kindness from others, and the loyalty those deeds generated in him, raised him above his past. He is an excellent, if unlikely, hero.

Valek, from the Poison Study series by Maria V. Snyder is not the main hero in the story but he plays his part well. Not controlling, he never tries to steal the show from Yelena, but he's there when he needs there. And he's just kind of ... awesome.

Do you have a favourite hero or heroine? Here's a some inspiration from a hero story that breaks all the rules.

Choice is the catalyst for story

“You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.”

                        ~ Morpheus

Choice is a catalyst. Characters who make difficult choices in order to gain something they want or need are a vital component in a good story. Whether the character's choice is good or bad, it will be the catalyst for a journey, and the character will have to live with the consequences of choice, and make many more decisions that stem from the first. Neo chose the red pill and as a result learnt the truth. He then had to choose whether to fight. Characters who want something and are strong enough to pursue it make interesting subjects!

Neo’s choice was easy. Live a lie or know the truth. How could he go on living a lie when he knew it existed? We already knew that the character Neo was portrayed to be wouldn’t be able to do that. If he’d chosen the blue pill … well, story over.

What if Neo’s choice had been made for him? What if he'd chosen the blue pill, but through forces outside his control had ended up on the adventure anyway, would he be the sort of character we’d want to follow through the whole story? If he never acted on his own decisions, but was thrust into situations of other’s making. A passive character being acted on by the rest of the world.

Your characters need to want something with enough conviction that they will make the hard choices (the red pill), and lead the reader through a story worth knowing, instead of bumbling along in the dark, steeped in passivity.

Which pill would you choose? I think I know the answer - we’re all story readers here.

A to Zers, I'm trying to get around to as many of you as possible, and will return the love of all who visit, but I have a 13 hour day today with a work/uni combo so probably won't be able to visit till tomorrow.

To rewrite or not to rewrite?

That is the question.

I was reading an MS from the slushpile today, and getting very frustrated with the opening paragraphs. My frustration was for many reasons, but one of them was the way the MC was introduced to new concepts.

The MC was starting in a state of ignorance, as are many MCs in YA fantasy, and is found by people who know more than her whose job it is to educate her. And herein lies my problem. It's not interesting to read about an MC being lectured in what they don't know. It's passive. The MC is not actively seeking this information, she didn't even know it was out there. It just fell into her lap. She was even ignorant about her ignorance so there was no reason for her to go actively searching for an answer. And ... I was not terribly entertained. The end result? I stopped reading after about four chapters. (I would have stopped earlier but I'm still nervous as a new intern about not giving MSS enough of a chance.)

My story, to a certain extent, suffers from a similar problem, and it's taken me til now, pinpointing it in this story, to realise it's what's causing me grief with mine. I've rewritten my first 40-60 pages or so about four times now. Each times it's gotten marginally better but I'm never fully happy with it and now I know why: my MC is ignorant, and, rather than not taking no for an answer when her seniors refuse to give information, she accepts her ignorance and waits for it to fall into her lap.

The thing is, her ignorance is so important to the story (but not ignorance of her ignorance - she knows there are things she doesn't know and this is imporatant). So, the solution as I see it is to remove the sources of information that are handed to her and make her go out and get it. And that means ... well ... basically a rewrite, probably from start to finish.

If I can find time around two internships, full time work and part time uni.

Eep.

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? Have you found ways to make your current set-up work with minimal rewriting, or did you have to do a complete overhaul? If the latter please just lie to me and tell me it was easy peasy! Kidding, I really do want to know about your experiences and your words of wisdom.

PS. Please excuse me if I'm making little to no sense. It's late, and I'm tired, and I've just had an unepiphany that looks like it's going to equal oodles of work.

Hearing voices, characters talking to each other that is

It's day two of the I'm Hearing Voices Blogfest, and today two of my characters are going to introduce each other.

Alad: Sila! Get over here.

Sila: What?

Alad: We’re supposed to introduce each other, remember?

Sila: I remember. I just never agreed to do this. You have fun with that, but I’ve got other things to do. Like keeping her-brilliance-the-princess-our-humble-saviour-and-oh-so-amazing-at-everything’s arse out of trouble.

Alad: If you don’t help I’m not busting you out of trouble the next time you do something to piss off the Guardian.

Sila: Fine. This is Alad. He likes to be a smart-ass-know-it-all-goody-two-shoes. He’s been fighting for the Kaardrivaal since he was 14, and he’s ok with a sword. But I can still beat him.

Alad: You’ve beat me twice, and you got lucky both times. And you know I’m much better than ‘ok’ with a sword.

Sila: Whatever. And he’s got a thing for her-amazing-highness the princess.

Alad: I don’t. Stop making up crap. And stop being a bitch.

This is Sila. She’s obviously got issues, as you can tell…

Sila: Shut up.

Alad: … She’s cousin to Princess Danshian, and isn’t too happy about it. She thinks she’s more capable than everyone else, and would prefer to do things her way because she’s convinced that no one else can do anything right.

Sila: I’m out of here.

Alad: Now she’s gone, I don’t mind saying I like Sila. She’s a good person, she’s just afraid of getting close to people. Her parents were murdered when she was four. I feel sorry for her, really.

            Anyway, thanks for coming round. Catch you all later.

Characters on the couch: Jeran

The first post of the I'm Hearing Voices Blogfest:

Me: Jeran! Welcome to my couch. I have a few questions for you so let’s start with what your biggest vulnerability is and do others know this or is it a secret?

Jeran: [He isn’t saying anything. Only sitting and staring at me. Have you ever had a staring contest with a dog that looks like a wolf before? Yea … you don’t win. Oh! Is that shiny thing below his lip tooth?! I think it might be time to move on.]

Me: Never mind. Participation not necessary. Heh ... So ahh, what do people believe about you that is false?

Jeran: That I’m a dog.

Me: Care to elaborate?

Jeran: [There’s that tooth again. And did I just imagine that, or did he just growl?] No.

Me: My, what big teeth you have. Next question, what would your best friend say is your fatal flaw and why?

Jeran: He wouldn’t say anything. He’s dead.

Me: Errr … ok. Umm … how ‘bout your dad?

Jeran: [Oh boy. This is not going well. He definitely growled this time.] My desire to have nothing to do with the family business. He’d kill me if he could find me, so I guess you could say it is indeed a fatal flaw.

Me: Ok, the next question is … [I read the rest of the question under my breath: What would the same friend say is your one redeeming quality? Why?] … we’ll just skip this one shall we?

Jeran: Loyalty.

Me: What?

Jeran: I heard you. If he was alive, he’d say loyalty.

Me: Oh, great. I can really see why he’d say that. So, what do you want most in the world?

Jeran: I want to be healed.

Me: You’re sick?

Jeran: [Piercing stare.]

Me: Oh … ah, never mind. Do you know how far you'll go to to be healed?

Jeran: I’m going to bring the princess here. If it causes my father a few problems along the way, then so be it.

Me: I see. I’m not sure antagonising him is such a good idea if you’re so sure he’s out to kill you.

Jeran: Is this interview over? I have places to be.

Me: Sure! Thanks for your time. [Ugh … that nervous laugh was not good. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere you’re not supposed to show fear when facing a dog.]

Jeran: [He’s already gone.]

Feb blogfests and comps I heart

Hey there writer friends!

This is just a quick post to let you know about some fun and exciting blogfests and comps I've come across and am participating, and I thought you might like to know about them too! (I've come across these from a few different sources, but one I've just discovered is Sharon's blog The Blue Word. She does a monthly post on blogfests and comps in the writing realm.)

There's the Valentines Blog Event being hosted by Brodie at Eleusinian Mysteries and Lisa from Read Me Bookmark Me Love Me. It's a month long event with all sorts of fun games and AMAZING book prizes. Seriously. Check them out.

Operation Awesome is hosting their monthly Mystery Agent contest. I don't think I'm going to enter this one because I'm not quite ready, but hey, there's always next month!

The I'm Hearing Voices blogfest, hosted by Angela at Live to Write and Cassie at Reading, Writing and Loving It, is a great character study done in three parts. A very good way to get to know your characters a little better (especially the elusive ones that don't like to talk to you) and there are also some great prizes on offer.

And of course there's the Get Fired Up blogfest, which I've already talked about here. Don't forget, if you're a new blogger in need of a little guidance, I (and all the others who have signed up for this blogfest) are always happy to help.

Have you found any awesome comps or blogfests this month? I'd love to hear about them. Will you be participating in any of these?

The psychopath test - a handbook for writing villains

How do you know if someone is a psychopath? It's easy, really. You just ask 20 questions and voilà, you have a result! Ok, so maybe it's not that simple in real life - nothing ever is. But that doesn't mean it won't help in our writing.

Do you have trouble writing a chillingly realistic villain? Try using the psychopath test. I'm sure including a few of these into his or her personality will up the scary factor.

How 'bout number 6 - a lack of remorse or guilt. What's creepier than knowing someone will have no second thoughts about the vile acts they commit?

Pair that with number 4, pathalogical lying, number 9, parasitic lifestyle, or number 10, poor behavioural controls, and you're starting to get a pretty scary character. A number of the other 20 traits would add a subtler, but no less villainous, layer to a truly scary personality.

So what are you waiting for? Go build yourself a villain!

Do you ever find it hard to write realisic villains? Have you ever written a psychopath?

June is over - how did I go with my goals?

... Ahhh ... *crickets chirp into the silence*

Well, let's just say that I didn't fail completely, but I may have been a little ambitious with the goals.

Let's have a look:

Complete at least one round of revisions for Blood Legacy. Nope. Not done. I didn't do it every day either. More like 80% of the days in June. So while the revisions are not complete I did get some good progress on this, although it is going a little slower than I'd like because I'm rewriting a lot of scenes from scratch.

I also had some notes back from a CP about my beginning which got me thinking a lot about that for a couple of days. I now have some good ideas for the beginning rewrite (number three) but that will have to wait till I've finished this round of revisions.

Read and write notes for critique partners. Check. Although I do still have some to do.

Write out plot for Blood Legacy. I wrote BL with absolutely zilch planning and therefore I have no record of my plot. I figure this would be a big help for revisions so I wanted to have it written down. Also, I won a ten page critique from the awesome Sarah Billington and I need to send a synopses along with it. To start the process off for both of these I have been writing a one to two paragraph summary of each chapter as I finish revising it.

Work on consistency of character voice in BL. This kinda comes under revisions, and I am working on it. I think I'll do a post on this some time soon too.

Continue writing and choose a setting for So Far to Fall. These two were bonus goals if I got through the rest, so no - they haven't been touched.


Did you set June goals? If so how did you go with them? Will you set some goals for July?

Show your characters some love

Not the "here, have another cookie" kind. The tough love kind. The kind where you light a fuse under your character's life and blow it to smitherines so they can learn something from it. Or not. But if they don't learn something there is a possibility you're writing one of these characters.

Sometimes, as writers, we can be a little precious about our characters. Probably without realising it. There is a chance (slim, I know) that sometimes, just maybe, there is a possibility, that we might be pampering them, just a little too much.

While revising Blood Legacy I came across a scene (just one... so far) where I definitely let my MC get off way too easy.

So who wants to do a quick exercise with me? It'll make the story better, I promise.

   1. Take a scene from your WIP that could have ended disastrously, but instead your MC breezes right on through, with barely a scratch. In my example, my MC is about to fight a young creature which is supposed to be impossible to beat fully grown, and close to impossible to beat as a baby. So what is wrong with this scene?

The shadow pounced as a terrible growl ripped from its jaws.

The creature’s leap was aimed at me, it was oblivious to Jeran. I ducked down and swung my foot up to meet its face, the impact made a satisfying crunch. I glimpsed two inch claws moments before they made contact with my shoulder. Jeran propelled toward the creature’s side and bit into its flank.

The creature snarled and Jeran dropped to the ground beside me. Its surge through the air had taken it several feet past us, and it spun to face our direction, preparing for another attack. It hissed and yowled and paced to and fro. It seemed to be struggling to see us, only one golden orb was visible now. I guessed my boot had done some damage.

It lunged again. This time I managed to dodge its onslaught, nothing but its slipstream touching me. I exploded forward at the last second, the heel of my open palm smacking into its ribs with a resounding crack.

The wild energy that had permeated the atmosphere a moment before faded, and animal fear filled its place. The creature sensed that it had met an opponent it might not be able to beat, and self preservation was winning out over the possibility of a meal. After a moment’s indecision it let out a furious yowl and careered into the night.

I stayed tense, only relaxing when all traces of its furious energy had faded. Jeran let out a low growl.

You’re possibly not as useless as I first thought, he said after a long silence.

“Thanks.” There was no point taking offence. I reached up to my shoulder with my undamaged arm and felt something warm and sticky coating my skin. I searched my backpack for something to wrap the wound with and staunch the flow of blood. I ended up having to rip a strip from one of my many layers.

Did you figure it out? My MC just beat the odds, and what does she get? A scratch. Yep. One measly scratch.

   2. Examine the details of the scene and ask yourself, "What is the worst that can happen here? If it happens, can my story go forward?"

If you answer the first question, and the answer to the second is 'yes', then go to step three. If the answer to the second question is 'no' then scale back the answer to your first question just a tad, keep doing that until your characters are in a dire situation, but the story can still keep moving forward.

What is the worst that can happen here? My MC could die.

If she dies can the story keep going? Well, no. Not unless the story changes to one about necromancers, and that's not going to happen. (Not because I don't like stories about necromancers - Garth Nix anyone? - it's just not what this story is about.)

Scale it back? She could suffer a serious injury. Oh! POISON! She could be bitten by poisonous monster fangs. Perfect.

Can she keep going? Yes she can, but it's going to be a lot tougher moving forward than when she just had a piddly scratch.

   3. Write your new scene!

The shadow pounced. A rumbling growl ripped from its jaws. I was ready.

The creature aimed for me, oblivious to Jeran. I ducked, my weight balanced over my left foot as my right swung to meet its face. I missed by inches, my boot only grazing the creature’s side. I glimpsed two inch claws moments before searing heat erupted in my shoulder. I watched Jeran snapping at the beast’s hindquarters and his fangs slicing into flesh as a red haze ate at my vision.

The creature snarled and spun to face us. I had less than a second to prepare for the next assault, and I knew my left arm was no more than dead weight. I breathed through the pain. I needed to make this one count. I didn’t think I’d get another chance.

This time, as the creature surged toward me, I shifted minutely to the left, my good hand darting to the side. I felt resistance as my blade sank into its target, and then it was ripped from my hand as the creature’s weight carried it past.

It lunged again and I stumbled to the side, expecting the fire of claws ripping into my flesh. Nothing but its slipstream touched me. With the last of my strength I exploded forward, the heel of my palm smacking into its ribs with a resounding crack. I saw why it had missed me. Jeran was perched on its back, his fangs sunk into the creature’s throat. He leaped off before he could be dislodged as the beast gave a violent shake. 

The wild energy permeating the atmosphere faded and animal fear filled its place. The creature sensed that it had met an opponent it might not be able to beat, and self preservation was winning out over the possibility of a meal. After a moment’s indecision it let out a furious yowl and careered into the night.

I stayed tense, trying to ignore the swaying of the world and the ground that seemed too close. Only when all traces of its furious energy had faded did I relax and collapse in a heap on the ground. Jeran let out a low growl.

You’re possibly not as useless as I first thought. 

I didn’t have the strength to take offence. It was taking all my will to remain conscious. I reached up to my shoulder with my undamaged arm and probed the torn flesh. My breath hissed through my teeth and the encroaching haze crept further across my world. From what I could tell I had a ten centimetre gash running from my armpit to my collar bone. Everything was slicked and sticky.

I smell blood. 

“Yea, I seem to have an abundance of it over here.” I tried to concentrate on the stars, or Jeran's dark shape, but the world seemed to be getting further and further away, and I had to strain to make my voice reach him.

Meerkaan venom. They have poison sacks concealed at the base of their claws. It would disable a man twice your size in minutes.

Now evil writer friends, go deal out some harsh punishments, err... tough love, to your precious characters.

How'd you go? Did you follow along with the exercise with me? Are you sometimes a touch too nice to your characters? Or do you have no problems throwing live grenades at them?

I'm a make-believer

I love this song. I'm not sure what Timo Maas was thinking about when he wrote this, but to me, it's about being a writer.

I'm a make-believer.

I don't just think up strange new worlds and characters and stories when I'm writing; I'm also a daydreamer. When I daydream, I see the world in my head, like a scene from a movie. There's no awkward dialogue, no gushy character descriptions, no ME intruding in the story. Perhaps this is my muse at her best.

When I write, I don't see the scene in my mind's eye, I just write. I'm not visualising the way a scene gets played out, that step seems to get missed between the process of thinking about what I will write and actually writing it. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm missing a critical step.

I know I'm becoming a better writer with practise. If I wasn't I would be worried. But my writing is still not as fluid as a daydream. I think the time it takes me to get a scene down is hindering the flow, and I've begun to wonder if I just took a step back, paused before I began typing, and tried to visualise the scene as a whole, see it before writing it, maybe it would be a better scene.

I'm revising a scene at the moment which has given me a few problems. My main character has just entered a strange world with an even stranger companion and she has a lot of questions. I want those questions to come out in a logical order without the answers sounding like info-dump, and my characters staying true to themselves. I've started trying to visualise this scene.

So far I've struggled to get the whole way through (it becomes a long scene in my head!) but it's helping me to know my characters better, and to know what they each would say in this situation. Once I've get that, I'll write it, and hopefully the disconnect between brain and fingers will be cured, and I'll have a smoother, more realistic scene.

Do you see your scenes when you write them? Or do you just write? And please tell me I'm not the only daydreamer around here! :)

"Wow, I really like your scrunchy," said the YA protagonist as she tugged up her leg warmers.

Ooh, side ponytail!

If you read this posts title and didn't see anything wrong with it, you really need to read this. I'm going to go out on a limb though, and guess that most (if not all) of you know that scrunchies and leg warmers aren't cool anymore, right? Right?

Whew.

But there are other, more subtle ways that an author can get it wrong when writing YA. And it all comes down to the YA voice.

The YA voice is an elusive and difficult thing to get right. As a writer you need to know what young adults are wearing, what they're NOT wearing, what they're saying, what they're drinking, eating, THINKING! All the while keeping that magic thread that is you as a writer and that is your character's voice, because that's what makes your writing unique.

If you slip up, even if you don't notice, young adult readers will. I notice, and I'm not even a young adult for genre defining purposes anymore (I'm 24).

As writers we're always talking about avoiding things that are going to jolt the reader from your story. Well, this is one of those things. If I'm engrossed in a story and next thing I know the YA protag is whipping out her hot rollers (yes, this just happened in a book I was reading) instead of GHD hair straightener, or saying 'bloody' as a swear word* instead of using any number of other options that YAs actually say (or if you're avoiding the swear words, at least use 'damn' or 'crap'), I'm going to be yoinked right from the plot and thinking, "Wait a second..." And then, because I'm a nitpicky reader, I'm going to be noticing every little thing that doesn't sit right from there on out.

If you're really unsure how young adults dress and talk then it's time to do some spying. We writers are good at this. Visit places teens like to hang and you can watch without looking like a stalker. Malls are a good place to start. I've also discovered recently that the train at around 3:30pm is perfect if you can handle being stuck for an hour with a hundred or so teens crammed in and discussing who's dating who at the moment and awkwardly flirting with each other. Another good place to check out, Authoress Anon's new blog Write On. It's for teens, and there's a forum full of teens. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you wanted to pick their brains.

Also, find out what movies, tv shows, actors and bands teens are interested in today. A big cliche I see in YA books is the character (or characters) who are obsessed with something from the past (like maybe when the writer of said book was young), like an old band (The Beatles) or old movies. Yes, this happens. No, it doesn't happen as often as the YA writer world seems to think it does. I don't know anybody my age or younger who is obsessed with The Beatles. I would struggle to name more than two of their songs (no judging zone, ok?).

Last thing: READ. Read. Read. Read.

Read as much YA as you can get your hands on. Read the good stuff and the bad stuff so you get a feel for both (gotta love Amazon ratings for that).

If you want an awesome example of contemporary YA voice, check out 'Anna and the French Kiss' by Stephanie Perkins. Amazing. Finished it in a day. So gutted that it's over and I want more. Admittedly, the book does have two characters who are obsessed with something old (where I got the two examples from actually - old movies and The Beatles) but the rest of the book is so great that I forgave it ten times over.

* Unless they're British, but even then I'm not sure a British teen would say that. And besides, it's cliche.

How do you feel about YA voice? Do you read YA? Do you think getting the little things right is important, or would you not notice them at all?

Ooooh a shiny new lightbulb

Some of you may know I've been attempting to write my query letter recently. Attempting being the operative word. I'm not in any way ready to query, but I thought, since queries seem to be the bane of many writers, I'd get a head start.

Well... it hasn't been going that well. Aside from my issues with length, and lack of ability to decide what's important enough to be in the query and what isn't, I've just kind of felt like there's something missing. Like the tension is lacking and the query is falling flat.

I've heard people say that writing your query is a great way to see if your story has issues, and now I know it's true.

It took me a while but after several attempts to answer Janet Reid's query questions, and then a discussion with my amazingly artistic and talented brother Ushan on Sunday (yes, we all have strange names), I finally realised what was wrong.

The question and answer that was causing me trouble was this one:

What does the protagonist want? To find her family.

Ahh... pretty important question, right? Pretty lame answer, too. I mean, sure she's spent her whole life thinking she has no family, so finding out the truth that she has family is pretty important. And of course she'd want to go find them. But... it just isn't enough. Even I don't want to read a whole book about an MC finding her family when there's much bigger things going on, and I wrote it!

Enter my friend, the epiphany. MC's mum dies on the first page. She was murdered. MC knows this. MC saw the murderer. And she knows nothing about her dad. Why the hell isn't she trying to find the nasty murderer and deal out some sweet sweet revenge? And track down her dad in the process?

What does the protagonist want? To avenge her mother and find out who her father is and why he's never come for her.

Friends, please note exhibit A: the pitfalls of being a pantster.

This lightbulb moment also resolves an issue I was having with this story being split into two books. I wasn't sure if the story arc for the first half was strong enough to stand alone. Now I know it will be because I've already written the ending which ties in neatly with the new MC goal.

If you're interested, Janet's questions for what needs to be in a query letter are:

What does the protagonist want?
What's keeping him from getting it?
What choice/decision does he face?
What terrible thing will happen if he chooses A; what terrible thing will happen if he doesn't.

Have you had any lightbulb moments recently? Realised you've made errors that are going to result in significant revisions (like me *sigh*)? Or just any words of wisdom?

The characters I love

Last week I had a bit of a rant about the type of character who I'm supposed to love but end up hating. I thought to balance things out, I'd do a post on what characteristics I really do love in main characters.

Intelligent characters, who are not perfect, but learn from their mistakes instead of doing the same stupid thing over and over again. This also means they don't conveniently ignore some pretty obvious details in order to create conflict or make the plot go where it needs to. There are better, more interesting ways to create conflict.

Likeable characters. I'm not a fan of the antihero MC. This is personal preference, but I find that if I'm spending a whole book with this character I want to be able to like them.

A sense of humour doesn't go astray. This is not a must, but I do enjoy an MC who can make me laugh.

Brave but not reckless. I've been reading a series where the MC screams everytime something bad happens. Sometimes they even do 'silent screaming'. How does a person silent scream? Not sure I understand how that works. At the other end of the spectrum, when a character continually runs into dangerous situations (and usually needs to be saved time and time again) I get equally frustrated. Characters who are at a mid point between the two have a good balance, I think.

Some characters I've loved recently were Rose Hathaway from the Vampire Academy Series (Georgina Kincaid is another Richelle Mead character I love) and Mercy Thompson from the Mercedes Thompson series (Patricia Briggs).

I'm pretty sure that my own characters don't meet all of these criterea, but at least I have something to aim for.

What have I missed? Do you have any specific characteristics you love to see in the MC? Who are your favourite characters to read about?

The character known as Too Stupid to Live

Warning: Rant follows.

Or perhaps not Too Stupid to Live


This is the character you want to slap upside the head and shake until they grow a brain.

I've read a few books with this type of character recently. The most frustrating ones are those who are supposed to be smart, yet ignore all the evidence and continue to get themselves into bad situations. Most frustrating is when the book is told from the character's POV, so all the information the reader gets comes through the character, and yet they STILL ignore the facts.

In a book I just finished reading, the MC was in a situation where they needed to resolve an issue or BIG WORLD DESTROYING events would happen. There was a lot of information available to the MC (and therefore the reader), and the MC came to a conclusion (the wrong one) in what would seem like a logical way. They examined the facts and decided on a course of action. The problem was, all the facts they considered important were the ones leading them in the wrong direction. The ones that would have resulted in them making the right choice the MC only noticed in an offhand manner (maybe to create foreshadowing for the reader) and then discarded.

If you want me to believe your MC is a smart, resourceful character, don't make them only pay attention to the information leading to the wrong choice, and discarding the other information, simply to create a disaster. Obviously for the purposes of increasing tension the disaster needs to happen, but when it happens in this way it is too much showing the hand of the author, and I get too damned frustrated with the character to bother reading on to find out what horrible thing is about to happen to them (and which I now think they deserve for being so daft).

Ok... sorry. Rant over.

What pet peeves have you come across recently that have made you want to throw the book, strangle a character, or write a ranting blog post? Do you also get frustrated with supposedly-smart-but-oh-so-dumb characters?

A very unscientific look at first pages - part two

On Friday, I did a post about first pages. If you missed it, you can check it out here. I got to have fun with making graphs and pretending I was a real statistician and just generally procrastinating to my heart's content. The conclusion I came to?

A successful first page needs Intrigue, Setting & Character to fully hook the reader (me in this case) and give them the Desire to Read On. If you only have space for one, better make it Intrigue.

Some of you may have noticed there were a few outliers in the graphs of last weeks post, so today I'm going to have a look at the first pages I studied and see what caused those.

Before I go on, I'd just like to reiterate that the ratings I gave these pages in no way reflects the quality of the book. I haven't read all these books, but even some of the ones I have read (and enjoyed) got mediocre scores for their first page. Just goes to show that the first page isn't the only way to hook the reader or I wouldn't have read them!

Let's start with Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick. It had a prologue so I did both the first page of the prologue and the first chapter and I gave both a 2/5. Both very clearly stated the setting as a heading before the rest of the text.
   First sentence (prologue):

Chauncy was with a farmer's daughter on the grassy banks of the Loire River when the storm rolled in, and having let his gelding wander in the meadow, was left to his own two feet to carry him back to the chateau.

The first sentence of the prologue is quite long (42 words) and has more details about the setting, including the weather and repeating details from the heading. The length of the sentence slows the pace down from the word go. There is no urgency or questions raised in the first page, unless you can count the details of a storm as setting an ominous tone, but it didn't really work for me.

   First sentence (Chapter 1):

I walked into biology and my jaw fell open.

In chapter one the first sentence is quite short. It shows setting, and to a certain extent, intrigue. I didn't count the intrigue in my analysis though because I felt like the rest of the page didn't live up to that intrigue. The 'jaw fell open' was due to Ken & Barbie stuck to the board at the front of the class with a note saying 'welcome to human reproduction (sex)'. While this is cute, it didn't make me need to read on to have a biology lesson. There was also some characterisation in the first page, which I again didn't count, because it was for the MCs best friend, not the MC herself.

Overall, neither page grabbed me, hence the score of 2/5. The first page of Chapter one was cute, but all it showed was a 'teenager' (no other details of the MC given on the first page) who is in high school and has a quirky biology teacher and a friend who doesn't like biology. Great. I don't care. At least not on the first page. Give me a reason to keep reading first, then give me the cute details.


Now let's look at Timeless by Alexandra Monir. This page had all three: Intrigue, Setting & Character. But it only got 3/5. Either this is a matter of taste (quite likely) or some ways of including all the elements don't work as well as others.
   First sentence:

Michele stood alone in the center of a hall of mirrors.

Straight away we have setting, character and intrigue. Why is she standing in a hall of mirrors? The first thing, I think, that lets down the intrigue is the fact that the whole first page is in italics. The first question I ask (instead of 'why is she standing in a hall of mirrors') is 'Is she dreaming?' Probably not the best question you want your reader to be asking when you're setting up intrigue, because it means all the cool things you're writing about aren't real.

The first page goes on to show even more character and intrigue. Michele's physical appearance is described in detail, including what she's wearing, in the context that while the reflections look like her, they don't move when she moves. They also have a key hanging around her neck which Michele doesn't have around her own neck.

The next paragraph is devoted to describing the key, with details like 'The key looked weathered and somehow wise, as though it weren't inanimate, but a living being with over a centuries worth of stories to share'. I'm a sucker for fantastical elements, but I have to question how she gets that much info from seeing an image of the key in her reflection.

The page has some great elements for creating intrigue (the hall of mirrors, the reflections that aren't actually reflections, the strange key) but I think it's let down by a number of factors. If it is a dream then the cool elements don't matter anymore, anyone can have a dream about strange things. Also, the page is split into two paragraphs, the first mostly entails description about what the MC looks like, the second describes the key. There's a lot of description here, and that doesn't help with pace. And lastly, the details about the key didn't quite get me to suspend disbelief, which is important if you're writing anything fantastical.


Now let's look at the three that got 5/5, to see what was done right. Unearthly, by Cynthia Hand, is the only one that got 5/5 that didn't have all three.
   First sentence:

The first time, November 6 to be exact, I wake up at two a.m. with a tingling in my head like tiny fireflies dancing behind my eyes.

Straight away - Intrigue. Why does she have tingling in her head? What does she mean by the first time? What is happening? Already I'm hooked and want to read on.

The first page goes on to describe the MC smelling smoke but finding nothing burning in her house. Then she goes to the kitchen for water because she can't sleep and the page ends with this:

... with no other warning, I'm in the middle of the burning forest. It's not like a dream. It's like I'm physically there. I don't stay long, maybe all of thirty seconds, and then I'm back in the kitchen...

Of course I'm going to turn the page to read the end of that sentence! And keep reading. I want to know what's going on. The intrigue was strong enough on this page to make up for the fact that it didn't have all three elements.

I didn't count this page as having character because, even though it's told in first person, I still don't know anything about her (I only know it's a her because I did read on and because of the cover).


Next, The False Princess by Eilis O'Neil.
   First sentence:

The day they came to tell me, I was in one of the gardens with Kiernan, trying to decipher a three-hundred-year-old map of the palace grounds.

Intrigue and setting straight away. Came to tell her what? Who are they? Why are they trying to decipher a 300 year old map? The setting alone is a bit intriguing. A story set in a palace? Cool.

In the rest of the page we learn the MC, Nalia, is a princess (character), and she and Kiernan are searching for a secret door in a wall in the gardens. This page has given me enough, and more, to make me keep reading. Not only do I want to know who 'they' are, and what they're going to tell Nalia, but I want to know about this secret door (which is revealed in the last sentence of the page).


Last one, Eon by Alison Goodman.
   First sentence:

I let the tips of both of my swords dig into the sandy arena floor.

We've got setting and we've got intrigue. The intrigue is a little subtler here, but I still want to know why she's fighting with swords.

Next we learn that she's in pain and she's training with her swordmaster (who despises her). Why is she in pain? Then we lean it's 'the bleeding pain': she's a 'she'. This is followed by the swordmaster calling her a boy. Whaa? Why is she posing as a boy? Lastly, we learn that she's considered the 'school cripple'.

Ok, I want to read more. Now. Luckily for me I have this book on my current TBR pile ; ).


So, have I bored you all to tears? Is there anything you disagree with me on? Agree? Are there any other titles you'd like me to give my reasoning on? What books have you read with first pages that forced you to keep reading?

A very unscientific look at first pages (with charts!) - part one

It took me quite a long time to realise the beginning of my story needed a lot of work. Then when I finally figured it out, it took me even longer to realise it needed to be scrapped and rewritten.

Afraid of making the same mistakes again, I decided to do some research. And here it is, in the hopes that someone else will find this useful too.

I went on Amazon and went through the first pages of thirteen books in the YA paranormal & fantasy categories. For each, I read the first page ONLY. If I wasn't hooked by then, too bad. If the book had a prologue I did the test on both the prologue and the first chapter (since I know a lot of people don't read prologues, and those that do might get turned off by the prologue before getting to the first chapter).

The three categories I had were: Setting, Character and Intrigue. I classified Intrigue as leading me to ask a question, wanting to know more. I only counted character if it was details about the main character, and it was more than just their name.

If I was on the fence about putting a book in any category, I left it off. Each book had to be clearly in each category.

The numbers of books that fell into each category, or multiple categories.

Based on this pie chart, Setting is the most common component of first pages. 88% of the pages I surveyed had details about setting. Usually they set up the MC's 'normal world', whether it was a fantasy setting or the real world. Kristen Lamb has a good post on why you want to start with the normal world, if you're interested.

Intrigue was the second most common at 56% and Character last with 37%. I think it's interesting that 44% of the pages didn't have Intrigue.

I also gave each book a rating out of five based on my 'Desire to Read On'.

Before I go on, I'd just like to say that these ratings in no way reflect how good the book is. It's only based on the first page and how badly I needed to turn to the second page to know what happens next. It's also, obviously, very subjective. Some pages I gave a five for that others may have given a two, and vice verse. Also, I didn't count words, so some books (if there chapter headings took up most of the page) had fewer words to capture me in.

Clearly, for me, Intrigue is the most important factor in getting me to read on. Which brings me back to the pie chart, 44% didn't have Intrigue!

Lets have a look at what groupings of these elements made me want to read on the most:

Because the sample size was so small here, it's probably best not to drawn conclusions from the data, but as I've already said, this is a very unscientific study, so I'm going to anyway.

Intrigue is the single most important thing to have on your first page. Probably also in your first sentence.

The differences between Character and Setting are marginal, but carrying on the unscientificness (it's a word) I'm going to say that Character is second, and Setting last (the most common element in first pages).

I'll break it down one more time, in the interests of transparency, and so you can disagree with me about various pages if you would like:

* Fallen does have a prologue but I was unable to get the first page from Amazon

So, what do you think? Agree with my very unscientific study? Disagree? Have anything else to add?

Next week, in part two, I'll break down the first page details, and what about each page lead to them getting a higher or lower 'Desire to Read' score.

An update.. and deciding if a character needs to be killed off.

Since I did my getting serious post I have gone over approx 100 pages of my WIP, and then hit a brick wall.

You see, I have a character who is giving me mixed messages about whether she should be kept or not. I have a few options for what I can do with her. She's got good conflict potential for my MC down the track, and she lightens the mood of the story in places because my MC can be quite dark. She wants to join the fight. Her family were all killed by the Big Evil Antagonist afterall, so she has a reason to get in there.

At the same time she's just kind of... useless. She gets scared in the fight scenes and doesn't help and it's up to the other characters to convince her to keep going, and to rescue her from time to time.

This could just be a symptom of not developing the character well enough.

The way I see it I have three options:

1. Kill her off. It'll create some instantaneous conflict but I think, since she hasn't been part of the story for all that long, it will feel a bit superficial.
2. Leave her behind. She's served her purpose in the story in helping the MC grow. Leave her somewhere and keep going without her.
3. Go back to square one, develop the character a bit more, see if she can be fleshed out so she's not such a drain on everyone else's energy.

None of these three are jumping out at me as the perfect solution. Without a clear path in mind I'm going to keep pushing forward, leaving her in there for now, and if she continues to irritate me and serve no purpose in increasing the conflict and moving the story forward, she will be culled. Either by being written out of the story or by being killed.

How do you deal with characters who won't play ball? Do you cull or compromise? How do you know it's just not working anymore?